Thoughts
by TheCurlymop
Summary: A look at what Kitty and Thomas may be thinking after episode 3 'I've been alarmed since the moment you arrived'
1. Thomas

'I've been alarmed since the moment you arrived'

As soon as the words leave his mouth he regrets them. How can her have a chance with her? There's a reason he told Miles he'd never spoken to her. Because Miles, observant bugger that he is, would have known something was up.

Kitty, or rather, Miss Trevelyan, hadn't really reacted at all. She did have a very good poker face, it was no wonder Miles wanted to make her smile at him. He'd seen her smile at patients, seen her calm them and care for them in ways he'd never expect from such a gentle looking clearly well-bred woman. It was obvious why the other two VADs weren't married, one too young and far too chatty and the other, though not unattractive was very old maid-ish though she couldn't be past thirty. Kitty on the other hand… he shook himself. Miss Trevelyan was beautiful and, as far as he could see, everything one might want in a wife. He'd heard of some problems at the start, she'd been on probation for speaking up against Matron but really that took guts and now she was perfectly well behaved, especially if you ignored the flashes of temper in her eyes. Which of course he did, only to have them reappear in his dreams. He was lucky Miles was such a nocturnal golfer, he was never there when Thomas woke gasping with Kitty's proud gaze etched in his mind.

He'd done well at avoiding her after the beach incident and then there they were in the supply hut, alone. Miles would probably have tried to push his luck, knowing Miss Trevelyan, he'd have come away with a slapped face but still. Miles would have been able to make a joke out of it. All of it. Sometimes he wished he were Miles. That he didn't care for anything and that life was just a joke. He supposed if you'd never had to fight for anything then nothing seemed necessary to fight for. But he wasn't Miles, he'd had to fight. He was dour and serious and not of the right class and always thinking about Miss Trevelyan. Actually that might be one of the only things he had in common with Miles, he thought with a wry smile. How could he compete with Miles though? Next to him, what woman would give anyone else a second glance?


	2. Kitty

She was slightly alarmed by Captain Gillan at first. Miles didn't bother her, she'd met his sort and got rid of them with ease before but Captain Gillan was another sort. He didn't seem like a normal doctor, was almost uncaring in his approach to everyone but then he'd told he about the death of his patient and the sorrow in his eyes expressed far more than his words or the tone of his voice did. He may try to hide it but he really cared.

She was surprised that he apparently hadn't told anyone about seeing her on the beach but grateful and she wanted to tell him but his reaction to her thanks left her feeling more confused. He so clearly didn't want to be in the room with her, she had a feeling that if he could, he'd have disappeared out of the door without saying anything, hoping not to have been noticed at all. He seemed so unsure of himself around women, so unlike Miles that she'd wondered… well, everyone knew about the dunes…

But then there was the moment in the ward, just them and she'd heard in his voice how clearly he cared about saving the boy's leg. Everyone had heard about the war between Captain Gillan and Major Yelland and it seemed he'd won. Here was a man whose actions were truly much more important than his words. She continually found herself contrasting him and Miles against each other, wondering how two such different men could clearly be such good friends. Miles would never have stood there silently while she soothed her patient, she wouldn't have felt his gaze burning on her back as she did with Captain Gillan and then when she moved to wash her hands, to her surprise, he moved closer. Compared to his attitude in the supply hut, where he'd been so stiff and uncompromising, he was almost a different man. There was a hint of a smile playing on his face and he spoke so easily that she responded as easily as if she were talking to Miles or Flora or a patient. His response left her grasping at words that didn't want to sound and when her eyes met his, he looked as if he couldn't believe he'd actually said that. He'd sounded sincere too and that was really left her speechless. Unlike Miles, he said what he thought, there was no hiding behind playful words to conceal his emotions, everything was laid out in what he said.

'I've been alarmed since the moment you arrived.' She catches her breath as the words play in her mind that night while she watches the shadows of movement play on the canvas walls of the tent. Flora's heavy breaths draw her from her contemplation of his serious face and she rolls over, hoping to sleep a little before she is inevitably woken by her memories. The memory of his face hangs over her, serious, handsome, alarmed.


	3. Grace

A/N Thank you so much for your lovely reviews, here's something from Matron Grace's POV because I adore her

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Grace tries to keep an eye on all her nurses really and she likes to think she's pretty aware of what's going on. She knows there's more to Sister Livesey than she's telling and she knew even before the letters that Trevelyan was hiding something. Truth be told, she doesn't think anyone here isn't hiding something.

Except for the Scot. Captain Gillan may not be the most talkative of men but when he says something he means it and this causes his words to have weight to them. Unlike his friend Miles who can chatter on for days without saying anything, Captain Gillan will often say absolutely nothing at all and still make you aware of his feelings simply by the way he is standing. She knows that they are lucky to have such a good surgeon even if at first she found him a little cold and clinical. He's not got the social advantages the other officers have used and yet he's still made it this far and for that he has to be admired.

He's not a ladies man, she doesn't think she's ever had to talk to him about what is considered inappropriate behaviour or even warn her nurses about him. She's had to do both with Miles and it doesn't make a blind bit of difference. But Captain Gillan and Trevelyan have been worrying her. They may not have raised any eyebrows yet but if they become any more obvious, she'll have to talk to him about being a little more discreet. She shouldn't think he's ever been in love before and it's clearly written all over his face if only you know what to look for. Trevelyan's a little more of a mystery. She's good at hiding what she thinks and she's also got her own family problems. Grace thinks that she might be a little more wary about giving her heart away than Captain Gillan has been.

It was bound to happen. Bringing young, well-bred women into the camp set off so many alarm bells in her head but they did need the help and there was no other way to get it. Sister Quayle may have thought they could manage without them, indeed, she seemed to think they were worse off now than before but Grace knew that her nurses needed all the help they could get, even if it was someone only qualified to wash bandages and change sheets. With the lack of available women, the men were panting for fresh objects of affection and when she'd seen the VADs she'd known there would be trouble. She's amazed, actually that there hasn't been more. They're all pretty in their own way and soldiers do tend to fall for the women who look after them. She's even had a few herself… but she hadn't really thought of the other medical staff. The doctors are all unattached but she doesn't think of them as people with feelings, the patients are the ones who matter, the ones who have a right to feel things, doctors should be removed from all emotion in order to do their job properly. That's what Sister Quayle would say. But Grace knows that Sister Quayle's unfeeling manner is part of what made Roland pass her over for the job of Matron. Sister Quayle is a good nurse, one of the best, but one can't help feeling a coldness in her smile that is quite chilling to think about.

So it appears that doctors, even dour Scottish ones, can have feelings and of course he had to go and fall for the troublesome provocative one. She doesn't quite know what has happened between them but she resolves to keep an eye on them. At least if she does that, she'll have a chance of warning them if they're becoming obvious. It's no fun being the object of gossip, she knows that as much as she would suspect Trevelyan does.


	4. Miles

Thomas seems happier than normal. He's sure he's not imagining it, he's smiling and Miles thinks he even heard a laugh the other day when an orderly made a joke. Thomas has always had guts, he'd needed them to succeed and keep on trying but he's become pushier lately. After his article was rejected, Miles had expected much more depression and moaning but Thomas had been unusually cheerful. Of course cheerful for Thomas was grumpy for most other people but Miles liked to think he knew him pretty well and could therefore decipher his moods much better than the average person.

When Thomas had stood up to Yelland, Miles' first reaction had been pride. He knew that Thomas had courage but he'd never seen it so prominent before. Thomas was the kind of man who would let Yelland walk all over him in front of the other officers and then fight back behind his back. But now Thomas was braver and so he stood up to Yelland and made Miles proud. Alarmed but proud. What he'd said about not liking violence may have sounded like a joke but he knew and he'd bet that Thomas knew it wasn't a joke. Miles may not be the most dedicated of surgeons but there's a reason he spends his time patching up the results of violence instead of inflicting it himself as a soldier. The nights are the worst. He claims he enjoys the fruitlessness of nocturnal golf but really he just hates the fruitlessness of trying to sleep. There's not much that Thomas misses but he thinks that in these past few weeks, Thomas has become a little less observant of others because he hasn't commented on the fact that Miles is in the tent at night more. It has nothing to do with sleep and everything with keeping an eye on Thomas who is much more restless than normal. He'd mentioned to Miles that he wasn't sleeping as well and Miles had put it down to stress and resolved to keep an eye on him. But it was clearly something else. Several times he heard Thomas waking suddenly from the other side of the curtain, clearly from a vivid dream but he didn't seem upset by it. Miles could guess what kind of dream it was but that didn't fit with his knowledge of Thomas so far.

In all the time he'd known him, he'd never known Thomas to even be interested in a woman. He knew he wasn't queer but he also wasn't overtly interested in women the way most of the other officers were. Thomas was clinical, observant and scientific. Matters of the heart were purely medical as far as he was concerned. But such a personality change had to be due to a woman. There could be nothing else. Now Miles needed to find out who the lady was and mercilessly tease Thomas for all time. Unless, of course, it was more than just a passing fancy. Perhaps it went deeper. Perhaps, and Miles shuddered at the thought, perhaps Thomas was in love.

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A/N I think that's about it from me on this one, thank you for your lovely reviews, they've really encouraged me to keep writing. I've got a few other ideas planned so keep an eye out for them. Thanks for reading!


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